"The soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts"

My most recent read has been the novel The Midnight Library by Matt Heig. It was a gift from a friend that has been sitting on my bookshelf since November, as if patiently waiting for me to pick it up when the time was right. The story follows a 35 year old woman named Nora who suffers from depression. Nora has reached an especially hard point in her life where everything keeps going wrong and she feels herself drowning in regret. Resigning herself to the fact that she is completely alone and has squandered any opportunities to make something of herself, she ends her life. But instead of passing away, Nora is transported to the “Midnight Library”, a limbo that exists between life and death. Each book of the library contains a different version of Nora’s life based on alternate choices she could have made. As Nora journeys through these books and these various lives attempting to rectify past actions and find fulfilment, she can’t help but acknowledge that each one still carries its fair share of triumphs and tribulations.

The premise of the story was especially compelling to me as it completely validates feelings of regret and self-doubt but also emphasizes the significance of forgiving one’s self. My personal favorite quote is “It is quite a revelation to discover that the place you wanted to escape to is the exact same place you escaped from. That the prison wasn’t the place, but the perspective.” As I journeyed with Nora, I couldn’t help but fall in love with her authentic and endearing character. I felt as if I was travelling alongside her and reflecting on my own regrets. That was when the words of Mrs. Elm, the librarian truly hit me. ” Sometimes regrets aren’t based on fact at all”. For so many of my own are simply rooted in personal perception.

This was truly the perfect book for me to end the year of 2024 with. Although I am riddled with ‘what-ifs’ just like any other person, I aim to start putting more moments aside to love myself. And not just to acknowledge that I delivered a presentation well enough or look decent for a party or managed to make a good cup of coffee. But moments to truly thank myself for enduring, to bask in the gift that is life and to keep reminding myself that “The only way to learn is to live.”

With that, I wish everyone a Happy New Year and a prosperous 2025. I urge us all to be kind not just to each other, but also ourselves.